Recently vulnerability has been showing up all over my life and in the lives of many people I know. So I am inspired to write about it.
“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.” — Brene Brown
Life is at best a test of our fortitude and ability to endure the many challenges it throws at us. There is, however, a gift presented in these challenges. It is the opportunity to be vulnerable. I have learned from my brilliant clients and my own life experiences and that this is where the gold within us lies.
Many people see vulnerability as a weakness. We are raised to have a stiff upper lip and not show our emotions, our humanness or our feelings. People may think they will lose themselves, when in reality they will end up finding themselves. I believe that you become weak if you do not connect to your emotions and your heart. Vulnerability will point you in the direction of the place that is most sacred to you. Who you truly are can be found at the heart of your vulnerability.
Why are we afraid to feel vulnerable? Revealing our most sacred place by wearing your heart on our sleeve can be very uncomfortable. We all want to be seen and heard for whom we are. But we might be seen as weak or we may be misunderstood. It is difficult to let yourself, your true, deepest feelings surface and be shown, but it is necessary to learn who you are and to gain confidence in who you are.
I feel every emotion known to man and everyone else’s around me! There were times in my life that I did not want to feel everything. Particularly when I had lost everything I had to a con-artist boyfriend. I was living on my girlfriend’s couch with not a penny to my name. I buried my emotions so I would not feel the pain. What I realize now, is by not feeling the pain, I could not feel love and joy which is the core of who I am. I knew the most important thing I needed to do was to start feeling again.
The emotions of pain and joy are like two sides of a coin. On one side of the coin is pain; on the other, immense joy. These emotions connect to your soul. And you cannot feel one without feeling the other.
Here are some tools to help you feel all emotions:
1. When feeling pain look it in the eye and feel it. If it is too overwhelming take a walk outside and come back to it when you are more calm. The trick is to also allow it to go away. If you hold onto it too long it is not healthy. What I have found is feeling it instead of burring it allows it to go away much faster.
2. Create a support system for yourself so when you feel vulnerable, you have a safe place to be. Find a friend or a coach to allow you a safe environment.
3. Notice that when you allow yourself to be vulnerable and feel the array of emotions associated with vulnerability you feel more connected to YOU and can in turn feel more joy.
4. Notice how you are allowing others to be more vulnerable the more vulnerable you are.
It takes courage to be human and to experience all of life which includes being strong, persistent, loving and vulnerable … all at the same time.
With love and appreciation,
Create Your Life Coaching has specific tools that can help with vulnerability issues, call or email today to book your complimentary session.