the art of being present


What does it take to "Be Present?" Life coach and author of "One Hundred Hearts" shares tips to help you life more fully in the moment.

Posted on July 10, 2016 by sharon backurz and filed under Video.

the art of being


Discover the definition of "BEING" and learn 3 tools to learn what the sense of "BEING" means and how it will help you live a more fulfilled life.

Posted on July 10, 2016 by sharon backurz.

the truth never lies

My world changed recently with a new awareness about something I feel we all are faced with every day: Truth.

The past few months I was in a funk, feeling as if I was not able to take the next step I needed in my career. Everything started to feel stressful, heavy and cloudy. As a life coach, I knew this is not the headspace one should be in, nor a space that the universe likes to create for you.

At the same time, I was coaching with my Mentor Master Coach, (coaches need coaches, too!), and I kept noticing the subject of truth started to show up everywhere. Not only was it happening in my own sessions, but also my own clients were talking about truth during our coaching sessions as well. I knew instinctively this was not by accident. During one notable session with my Master Coach, we talked about the importance of our clients trusting us. We then looked at how important it is to trust ourselves in order for others to trust us. What a concept!

I want to take this opportunity to share what transformations are available when we allow space and time to let new perspectives show up in our lives.

I first looked within myself and simply asked, "What would I tell my client?" The answer was as simple as two words: "Let go." Let go of the “must have” on any particular outcome. Let go of the stress or tension around your desire to create something. Let go and trust that life has good intentions to support you. If you don't let go to the idea of other possibilities, you'll never see that the best solution might be right in front of you. This is where you get out of your head and into your heart and intuition. Trust plays a big role here. Most people are stressed because they cannot let go of anything in their life, but life just doesn't work that way. One often finds that the tighter you grasp onto whatever it is that you think you can't live without, it is actually the same thing that is blocking your path or may be the thing clouding the picture or path laid out for you.

I tell my clients to use the formula: "Attention, Intention and No Tension." Attention is getting clear on what you want. Intention is taking action towards what you want. No tension is letting go, staying in a calm place and trusting the correct outcome will come to you. Most people miss the third step, trying to force a situation that is not in alignment with the truth. I took my own advice.

I let go of all control of any outcome. I made a conscious intention that I would receive the answer.  When I was inspired, I would take a small step forward in the direction I thought I should go, and then I continued to "let go." For example, when I was creating the cover for my book, One Hundred Hearts, I had a picture in my mind on how it should look. I contacted a designer, who proceeded to send me four drafts that were nothing like I pictured. I started feeling stressed and anxious, and then used my own advice and let go of any worry and waited for the right answer. The next draft was even better than the picture I had in my mind. The Universe sent me something even better.

One turning point was while I was doing good old-fashioned homework. My Master Coach had me write two lists: one that listed how I could trust more in others and one listing ways I could trust more in myself. It was a revealing process. I discovered I did have a level of self-doubt that caused me to not trust others and myself, of which I was completely unaware. I thought I had done all the work needed in this area, and was the most trusting person there was. The problem was, I did not trust myself 100 percent. This realization set off a dramatic shift inside causing me to immediately begin trusting myself, striving for that goal of trusting myself always 100 percent. That shift opened all the doors inside me that had been shut the past few months.

On the other side of the door was clarity. I immediately began trusting my knowingness, my instincts, and my confidence, and perhaps most importantly, I rediscovered my ability to help my clients find their truth so that I could create even more trust with them. I must admit that fully carrying out my own advice wasn't an overnight process, but rather, a process that took several months for me. But here I am now, trusting myself to go out and do and be who I know I am meant to be in my professional and personal life.

I've always connected to a quote that I think fits perfectly for this conversation: “Unless your heart, your soul, and your whole being are behind every decision you make, the words from your mouth will be empty, and each action will be meaningless. Truth and confidence are the roots of happiness." –  Anonymous

I invite you to join me in opening a few doors of your own, and unlock the truth and confidence that is waiting to burst out. But how do you take that first step toward letting go that I've been talking about? We all know the first step can sometimes be the hardest. First, take some time to do the same trust exercise that I did. Start with writing down a few ways you, too, can be more trusting with others. Perhaps ask yourself, "When do I not trust myself around others?" or "When do I feel others are not trustworthy?" Second, make a list of how you can be more trusting with yourself. "How can I trust myself more?" and "How can I show up fully in my life?"

Be sure to allow yourself space and time in order to gain new perspective, then step back and be ready as the doors open for you, too. "Let go" of old ideas and let the magic begin!

With love, magic and truth,

Terry   

Posted on June 8, 2016 by sharon backurz.

five steps to identifying your true self

This article appeared in Great Health Guide 
Read it here >>

Have you ever had times when you think to yourself, ‘I want to be so many things and so many different people all at once, but I only have one life? How do I choose?’ 

I know that I have those moments. Sometimes they come as a contemplative thought, other times as a slap in the face in the middle of the night. Don’t even ask where my mind goes then. 

It’s akin to being in one of those designer cupcake shops, with all the different flavored and decorated delicacies pulling you in every direction. ‘Should I go for the butter crème frosting, or the red devil’s food cake? Hmmm. Maybe the key lime? Oh heck, just give me all of them!’ To say the least, it can be a dizzying experience that leaves us frazzled. And, at the risk of comparing it to a cupcake, life is often that way too. 

Maybe it’s a compilation of the movies we watch, the magazines we read or the constant stream of internet that tantalizes our imagination to crawl into someone else’s adventure or intriguing tale because it looks so much more appealing than our own. Perhaps it’s a lack of focus when it comes to organizing our thoughts, dreams and priorities. Whatever it is, there seems to be something about some beautiful place or accomplished person that appeals to us more than our own life. 

If we only took the time to look at our own story, we would most likely find that it is more intriguing, adventurous and appealing than anything we read in a book, watch on television or imagine the beautiful model’s life on the pages of Vogue Magazine. It is when we begin to acknowledge our innate ability to craft our own life story and make our own choices that we truly grow into the person we want to be. 

As amusing and witty as this might seem, it’s a frank way to summarize the truth. It is impossible to be yourself if you don’t know, understand and accept yourself. It should be your primary goal to find this out. 

Yes, simply put, you’ve got to do the work. Find the time to learn what you value and take time to consider what makes up the essence of who you are. It is not so much a question of deciding who you want to be, rather, it is a question of discovering who you are. Everything you are is already inside of you – sometimes you just need a little guidance on finding the right key to unlock the vault.

 5 steps designed to help you identify just who you are.

1. Just because you think or visualize something, it doesn’t mean it’s true. Take some time to ponder this thought. What things are engrained in your mental thought processes that could use some housecleaning?

2. We all have baggage. Some you were born with, some you picked up along the way. How might you be able to segregate this baggage into categories and start to deal with the most immediate problems? As you move through this process say to yourself, ‘I will continue to acknowledge this baggage, but I won’t allow it to negatively influence my life.’

3. Write a list of the things that are most important to you in your life. Hint: Think of all the areas of your life – and don’t be surprised if that list requires more than one sheet of paper.

4. Who you are is more important that what you are doing. Actions speak louder than words and action expresses priorities. Be yourself first. 

5. Clarify what you are passionate about. Ask yourself, ‘why am I doing what I am doing or why am I not?’ Ask yourself if what you are doing creates joy and fulfillment. Do you feel expanded or contracted? 

Take the time to learn what you value and time to consider what makes up the essence of who you are. Only then will you identify your true self.

 

Posted on February 16, 2016 by sharon backurz.

life coaching testimonial

My Success Story

My journey with Terry started from a desperate google search. For the previous 6 months something had been building inside me. I was at the peak of my career. I had a loving, supportive, husband and two beautiful girls, but something was missing. I wasn't happy. 

Working in downtown Tempe, I passed a lot of homeless every day. I began to hand out bottles of water and meal replacement bars on my breaks at work. After a few weeks I realized that my moments with these strangers were the most peaceful, happy, parts of my day. I knew I needed a change. The problem is I am very good at change. Too good. So good that I raced from one thing to another at a full sprint with all my heart. Needless to say, this method wasn't working. 

One day I started google searching random "help me" words and I discovered the term life coach. I was contacted by Terry, and 5 minutes into our conversation I knew she was perfect for me. I didn't even take the calls from others. 

How My Life Has Changed

I always new that following your passions was important. I was throwing passion everywhere, but Terry helped me find my 5 core passions that are deeply a part of who I am. This is no small feat. These passions now serve as a compass through the choices I make for myself. Simply put, I know what choices will lead to happiness for me. 

The Embarrassing Truth

Two of the most powerful tools Terry helped me develop have to do with truths about ourselves that may be a little embarrassing to admit. For me, I always knew that I felt unhappy when I was not in control. I thought that part of myself was something I just had to deal with. Terry helped me develop a tool to recondition my feelings about control in a positive way. This tool has been fantastic. I look at it every day and also feel pride that I created it myself. 

Another truth about myself is I love praise. I need it or I forget the good and focus on the bad. Terry and I came up with the idea of a praise board. I write great things about myself on the whiteboard every day. The white board is displayed in the kitchen for me to constantly see. Working with Terry helped me understand that if you discover things that build you up, embrace them. Who cares if I have "you are an awesome Mom" in my kitchen. I am an awesome Mom and we should be good to ourselves. 

Thank you, Terry. 

Ashley Lanyi
Age 32, Mother of 2

Posted on February 8, 2016 by sharon backurz.

having heart

Love is above all, the gift of oneself
— Jean Anouilh


The human heart weighs between 7 and 15 ounces and is a little larger than the size of your fist. But there is another type of heart that can not be weighed or measured. In fact, its power is limitless. The human heart that keeps our bodies alive is very small in comparison to the human heart that keeps our souls and spirits alive; it is the vital center and source of one’s being. The emotional human heart is where one’s deepest and most sincere feelings and beliefs are kept.

We all have the ability to create miraculous things in our lives, and in the lives of others, because we have the ability to love and live our lives with heart. Regardless of your personal spiritual beliefs of either a higher power, a spirit, an essence, or God, there is something that we all have in common. That is love and the ability to show love and compassion.


I can do no great things, only small things with great love.
— Mother Teresa

 


I believe that love and compassion are necessary in order for us to obtain true happiness and
fulfillment; and that can only begin once we have love and compassion for who we are and what we are capable. Only then can we go out into the world and see it in others.

Love is a universal solvent to many difficult questions and situations in our life. The truest form of love and compassion can only be found in the human heart not the material world.

Lead with your heart and life will present miracles beyond your wildest dreams.

As a life coach I have had the extraordinary opportunity to witness the courage, strength, greatness and  power of the human heart. This is a gift we have been given, not to hold just within ourselves, but, to be share between us. Remember, this is what we all have in common.
Go out and look for the amazing brilliance of the human heart that is love and compassion and you will be transformed.


The hunger for love is much more difficult
to remove then the hunger for bread.
— Mother Teresa


I would like to take this opportunity to thank all the people in my life who have demonstrated the ability to show and share their hearts with love and compassion. This includes my family, children, friends, strangers and most of all, my courageous clients who want to make a difference in their lives and the lives of others. You have touched me deeply and given me the greatest gift of experiencing what the human heart is truly capable of.

Peace, Joy, Compassion, and Most of all—Love,
Terry Sidford

 

Posted on February 4, 2016 by sharon backurz.

inspire me today blog

Courage is Heart: 5 Daily Reminders for Women

by Terry Sidford

Read it live here >>

Most of the time we think courage is a big emotion we muster up in times of need, when the clouds descend and life collapses around us with loud booming noises.

But often, the opposite is true. Sometimes it is the quietest of moments, when we can barely hear our own heart speaking, that require the most courage.

We are taught that courage is having the heart of a lion – but a lion doesn’t always roar. Watch carefully; each move a lion makes is calculated and graceful. In fact, a lion is still for a good portion of time – almost as if in deep contemplation and reflection – choosing to roar when time and circumstance demand it.

As human beings, we are often afforded moments of deep reflection to look inside our own hearts. It is in these moments that we are gifted a new, clearer lens through which we can see ourselves. However, once we peer through that lens, there is no turning back – only marching forward with courage as our guide.

I was lucky enough to interview several women and listen to the deeply introspective responses they had to questions I posed to them about how they define courage and how they found a way to shine in the face of adversity. What rang true through every story and every answer was that women are strong; women are courageous; and, at the worst of times, when the chips are down, women shine! Sometimes, we just need to be reminded of how amazing we are. Here are five reminders of what women should know about themselves:

1. Be proud of your story. You don’t have to let your story define you. Let it lead you to who you are.

2. Know you have the courage to BE who you are no matter what life throws at you.

3. You are stronger and more courageous than you think.

4. Courage is not the absence of fear. It is feeling fear and doing it anyway.

5. Your voice is important. It is time to be heard and seen.

Posted on February 4, 2016 by sharon backurz.